January 20th, 2009

It's only 10:00 am Pacific Standard time and I have shed an entire day's worth of tears. My son is on his way to England, the flight taking off a little late but taking off none the less. You would think that I have been through this enough to be able to not cry, or at least to hide my tears until he is out of sight. Not the case. I feel bad because I know he was hiding his own excitement in view of my tears and I wanted him to be excited. I don't know when I will hear from him again but I hope when I do, his travel has gone well and he will be safe.

I am so lucky to have such a loving son. We were able to spend many evenings, boring as they were for him, just being together. As he gets older these moments become ever so much more special. We were able to go for walks and the weather cooperated with sun in the afternoons. Maybe that is why it was so hard to see him actually leave. I enjoy him here so much. I have to thank him for putting up with my motherly emotions and prodding him with questions that made him feel like he was a little kid again. Do you have your passport? Did you pack your jacket? Those kinds of things. He has already traveled so much of the world I should know better.

I watched him check in and go through security until he waived a final goodbye and I couldn't see him anymore. I went to my car and cried then headed home, stopping the tears to drive.

But, on this historic day, that wasn't the end. I made it home in time to see the incredible inauguration of our 44th President Barack Obama. Maybe because I was already emotionally fragile or maybe just because it was such a hopeful moment, or both, but the tears flowed once again. I am not really sure what it means when people say a person is "real" but if it means you can believe what they say and hope in what they do, then Barack Obama is real.

These two events do tie in together to a certain degree. Not so long ago, it was not so easy to be an American traveling overseas. I experienced the disdain for our country's leadership first hand a few years ago visiting Germany when then President Bush visited with no regard for the population he affected with his visit by closing all businesses in the middle of the day within a 10 mile radius of the middle of downtown Mainz. Somehow, I don't think Barack Obama would do that and even if he did, the people would swarm to see him speak and believe in his dream. But now, I feel my son has a better, safer, experience ahead of him as he heads to England and other parts of Great Britain and Europe over the next 5 months. He won't have to hide his nationality. It will be okay to be American again. That is something.

Thankfully I know myself well enough to know that going to work after all of this would not be wise, so, as the day progresses I will watch the inauguration day events as I make order of the chaos left behind in my son's bedroom. I will hold the cat on my lap and begin the long wait for my son's return in June. I will follow his blog at haliverson.blogspot.com as it develops with his travels and be content in his happiness. Sure, there will be more tears but that's okay.