Angst is a German, Danish, Norwegian and Dutch word for fear or anxiety. (Anguish is its Latinate equivalent.) It is used in English to describe an intense feeling of strife.
Lately, I have been feeling a vague "Angst" and I can't really define it. I think I am just at a point in my life when I have realized it is there. It has probably always been there to some degree but for some reason, it haunts me now.
The funny thing, I don't think my "Angst" has anything to do with me but rather with my thoughts and worries about those I love. This is certainly understandable thinking about my in-laws who are 90 years old. I love them dearly and I have to realize that everyday with them is a gift.
I so want my sons to find their own happiness but to also know that sometimes you have to work for it. Their future is always in my thoughts. For some reason, I feel an urgent need to tell them that.
I worry about my husband who hates his job and I can see it weighing on him. Is the material world and "saving" for retirement so important that he has to suffer in the present?
I feel, for some reason, that I have been trying to be strong for so long that I am losing my grip on that. Thus the "Angst". Can I fail? Is it possible that all I have wanted in life, my loved ones to be happy and secure, won't happen? I have to push this feeling aside and get back to where I am comfortable enough to keep going, keep moving on.
So, for this brief moment in time, I will give my "Angst" its time and then it will be gone. Thank goodness for that!
Happy Birthday, Wes!
6 years ago
1 comment:
Mrs. Iverson,
I totally feel you on the whole...angst being a part of your life. I have been feeling a bit of angst as of late, more so now that I'm about to move out of the country yet again. But, I know that this is something I can do and will do. I know things will work out for your family too. For Hal and his adventures in Ireland, for Kale and for your husband. I definitely know the feeling of now liking your job. It's no fun working in an environment or career that you do not like.
Anyways...all this to say, thank you for the nice comments and I thank you for following my Korean adventures!
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