Phases of friends

Last night a group of us got together at The Beach ostensibly to celebrate the 55th birthdays of two but in actuality, it gave us a reason to make time to see each other, something that is not always that easy at this time in our lives. So, this got me thinking about all the friends I have had in my life and how lucky I have been to have so many.

First of all, there are many friends from the past with whom I have no contact, not because I don't wan to, but because I have lost touch and even the internet has been unable to locate them for me. The first person that comes to mind was my neighbor, Pam Lange. She was one of two girls and four boys in the family who lived next door to me until we moved when I was 10. Even though she was 2 years older than me, we had very memorable times together. I remember dressing up in costumes made by one brother to serve food at her other brother's birthday parties, having funerals for bumble bees that accidentally got stepped on in the yard, have lime-aid Pig Parties in our attic and because of our friendship, her dad let me play softball on his team when I was 7 even though the starting age limit was 8. A combination of Pam moving on to Junior High and me moving to Day Island separated us and that bond but those memories are great.

When I moved to Day Island, I didn't have many "human" friends choosing instead to spend my days on the beach with Darby, my dog. Now that was a bond! I don't have many pictures of him which is sad because he was such a big part of my life then. The one friend I do remember for a short period of time was Robert Mauer. I have no idea what became of him after his family moved off the island. We used to spend hours making forts in the woods, swimming, beach combing. His sister even dated my brother for quite awhile.

There were lots of people who were my friends in grade school, Junior High, High School and college with whom I no longer have a connection or, if I'm lucky, a Facebook connection. But there are a special few with whom I will always connect, with whom I will always share a lasting bond and I will always strive to see and hug them in person, at least occasionally, for the rest of my life.

Pam P. We were born a month apart, our moms were in the hospital together for a time and we have always remained friends since then. There were times, I am ashamed to say, when I strayed (let's just forget our senior year) but I was her maid of honor and she was mine. Our lives have ebbed and flowed and our relationship too but we always seem to come back to the fact that we are, and always will be, connected to the core.

I was lucky enough to go from Kindergarten through graduation with a large group of people who were really all friends, as well as boyfriend/girlfriend at one time or another. There was Cliff and Susie, Pat and Sue, Wendy and Pat, and so many more I am certain I don't remember. We had a group of girls though, a group I must admit I was a little on the outside of, that always managed to become close from about March through November when we were in Junior High and High School. You see, this was the time when "The Roof" was at its prime. My house on Day Island had a roof that was not peaked toward the sky but dipped in a "V" and then surrounded by walls so that as long as the sun was shining, it was warm and we were able to subject our bodies to the rays of the sun, caring not one bit what it might do to us. Our conversations during those times were sometimes fun, sometimes healing, sometimes serious and always to be remembered. Now, that group still meets once a year for a girls weekend which is something I look forward to from the time it ends to the time it begins the next year. These are friends with whom I will always be connected.

My list of friends would not be complete without including Spin and Marty (that's what my Dad called them), Scott and Mike in real life. To be honest, I'm not sure how this friendship started. All I know is that they were important to my happiness my senior year. While we explored the boyfriend/girlfriend thing we all found that we were best as friends. We still are. Amazingly, we are all still happily married and even our spouses get along well when we get together.

When I went away to WSU to college I had friends who wanted me to room with them but I elected to go for the unknown and in doing so, I met Jill. Jill is still one of my bestI went away to WSU to college and while some friends wanted me to room with them, I chose friends, even though she only stayed at WSU for a semester. She is an artist and went to an art school after that. She married her highschool sweetheart who turned out to be a best friend of Mark and two of them thought I should meet Mark and lo and behold, Mark and I ended up getting married, even though Jill and her husband ended up getting divorced. There have been times since then when I haven't seen or talked to Jill for years but then when we do reconnect, we pick up where we left off. She is truly special to me and always will be.

I will always treasure every friendship I have had, lasting or not. But the one that is most important to me is the one I have now, with my husband. He is the one who knows me the best, puts up with me, and I with him. No matter what, he has my back and he gave me the greatest gifts of my life, my sons. Our life has had its ups and downs, it hasn't always been easy but every moment has deepened the bond we share.

A long post, but a necessary one. To each and every friend I have had, I say thank you for helping me become who I am.