Happy Father's Day

I know lots of Dads and every one of them is amazing, each in their own way. But the one who is no longer here is the one with whom I measure all others, my dad.

I've written lots about my dad, before and after he passed. But every Father's Day I feel this void that really can only hurt less by writing about him.

Have you ever wondered what your first real memory is? Many of my memories early on I think are really derived from photos or stories I have heard. So I have thought long and hard about what my first real memory of my dad is. Honestly, I think it was a day in the summer when my neighbor Pam and I were playing in our yard. We picked flowers and made "perfume" which of course was the most beautiful ever made, according to my dad who told us to wrap it up and give it to Mom. He came to the "fort" we had made under the plum tree and marveled at its construction. Then he went on to his own yard work, trimming the grass around the flower gardens, back then done with clippers, not weed eaters. My dad was always around and always seemed to have just the right thing to say. I suppose all daughters idolize their dads but I was certain I had the best. I still believe that.

My dad made lots of difficult choices in his life. In his last years I was lucky enough to spend lots of time with him and he voiced his regret of many of those choices more than once. I suppose that it is natural for anyone to reflect back and wish they had done things differently. Whenever he would bring it up I always told him what I truly believed, he lived his life as the perfect example of humanity, putting his family first, being a truly good person, and how he cared for my mom in her last years was a devotion beyond words. I am the person I am now, trying to be half the person he was, because of him. In turn, my children are who they are, in part, because of him. And his influence will be present again in their children, if I am lucky enough to have grandchildren. No pressure!

Dad would embarrass me at time beyond belief but that certainly endeared him to my friends. In my high school years he was a stay at home Dad, one of the choices he would talk about sometimes. I cherish those days when he would either take me to school and embarrass me somehow along the way or be there when I got home with some of my friends and make them all feel so at home. I was always so proud when there was a Father/Daughter event at school. No one, I mean no one, could socialize better than my dad.

So, on this day, I urge all dads out there to revel in being Dad. Know that in the littlest thing, in every moment, you are making that memory to live on in your children long after you are gone. Love and be loved.

Happy Father's Day