Mom--Why I am who I am

There have been many "mothers" in my life and each one has contributed to me being the person I am today. It started, obviously with my grandmothers, Grandma McQuiston and Grandma Talcott. Grandma Talcott, my mom's mom lived in Iowa so I didn't get to see her much. But I do remember visiting her home when I was 6 and hiding under her bed with my cousin Caroline until the thunder and lightening storm passed. I remember her coming to visit and she was so sympathetic to my brother when he come home from two a day football practices sore from head to toe. I remember going to visit her in California right before she passed away. I envy that my sister was able to know her more than I but I know enough to know that the compassion, intelligence and devotion passed to me from my own mom came from her. Grandma McQuiston, my dad's mom lived in Tacoma and as luck would have it, in her older years I had the privilege of spending a lot of time with her. She was an amazing woman who raised 6 sons through the depression, lost one to WWII, but managed to do whatever was necessary to make those around her happy. Like many senior citizens, she lived on a very limited income but when I was headed to college she took me shopping and bought me a winter coat and a nightgown for the cold winters of Pullman. I saw how she adored my dad, and he adored her, and I saw how this lead to his devotion to her in her final years. She gave this to me and I was able to then give back to my dad in a similar way in his final years.

Without question, my own mother gave to me in more ways that I can know. I ran across this picture of my mom when she was a girl with her dog, Jiggs. I am certain I did this same thing with my dog Darby many times. I wonder if I would have the love of dogs that I have now if my mom had not shared that with me?

Jean Talcott Wicks was really a pioneer in many ways. She was one of the first women in the first group of Navy Waves during WWII where she worked on airplanes. After I was born, she went back to school at UPS and graduated with a teaching degree. Imagine how hard that must have been with four kids! When I went to Kindergarten I got to sit in her second grade class in the afternoon and, although I would not realize it until later in life, I learned what an amazing person she was with such an inherent ability to understand people and their individual needs. I am sure my two sons who are now both teachers got much of this from her.

My mom was also fun loving. She acted in local theater groups. She insisted on family outings in spite of things that may have needed to be done at home. She went along with my dad's craziness at the state photography conventions, this photo is just one example of that. Note: She is wearing one my costumes from Carousel!

But I think most of all, my mom helped me become the Queen of the Beach. Rather than feel it was beneath her to move to Day Island and rent a small house which was slightly tilted with many other odd quirks, she embraced the fact that we were literally 10 feet off of the beach. Until then, I never knew that my mother, raised in the landlocked land of Iowa, was really a beach sole. We spent many days walking on the beach together and had those kinds of talks that are so often not shared these days. She loved days when the storms would hit and the waves would crash against the rocks splashing salt water onto our porch or window. It's easy to love the beach on sunny, warm days but she loved it most on those stormy days. I think that is why she understood my love for the water, my need to stay out in the water or on the shore all day, searching for firewood for our little trash burner on the stove or for treasures that washed up into the rocks, hiding, waiting to be found. How special I feel to have had these times with my mom. I prefer to remember those time and not the later years of her declining health. That is what she would want.

I have aunts, nieces, a sister, and friends who are all wonderful mothers. Terri has given so much love to her babies, Ray and Aaron I know it is hard for her to see her son growing up so much. All I can say is hang in there and know that what you have done for him will always be remembered. Jen devotes herself to her children, Alex and Maddie. They have had more experiences in their short lives than I gave even to my own kids and that was quite a bit. It is my fervent hope that someday these two nieces and four great nieces and nephews can someday get together and understand how special each is in their own way. And Briana is the newest mother of Haywood. She has many great examples from whom to learn and take what she wants from and I am most certain that she will excel in her motherhood. How could she not with a grandmother like my mom.

Finally, I am very fortunate to have a mother-in-law who has really taken over the role of mother for me since my own mother passed away. She will be 90 on her next birthday and she is as vital now as ever. I know from experience how hard it is to see your son grow up and move on in life and for her to take me in and love me as unconditionally as if she were my own mother is an experience I sincerely hope that I will be able to share with my future daughter-in-laws.

So, whoever you are, you are someones child or grandchild and if nothing else, today is a day to think about who you are today and how these special people helped you to get there.