Memorial Day

It's funny, all my life Memorial Day was just a day off of school or work. Oh yes, I always knew it was a day to remember those who served the country in war and peace but it didn't touch me so I didn't think that much about it.

Now it has touched me. This Memorial Day it is all about remembering my parents. I will go to the cemetery where they are inurned. I haven't been there since the vault has been engraved. I want to see the view they have for eternity from there. I want them to know I think about them all the time and I thank them for all they did to help me become who I am. I want them to know that we are all fine, which I am sure they already know.

As hard as it is to be without parents in this world I have to be so grateful that I had them in my life for as long as I did. Think about all the children who lost parents in the many wars fought over the years. Heroes all but what a waste, those fighting and dying in a war being fought because of the inept leadership of our country. On this Memorial Day I have to put my faith in the change that is about to come. A change that will hopefully bring families back together and a new direction and respect for our country. It has to happen!

Happy Memorial Day to all. It means more than a day off. I know that now.

Sweet Sixteen!

Three months and 2 sizes.

It's a well known fact, I really don't like to shop for clothes for myself. But, yesterday was different. First of all, I was with my two boys. They had some things to buy so I went along. Anyone who knows them knows just how much fun they are to be around, especially when they haven't seen each other in 5 months. They are hilarious!

Second, I thought I might see how I was doing in my quest for size 14 and I needed some jeans so I tried on the size 16's. Keep in mind, I was still wearing my size 20 jeans and while I knew they were loose I was certain the 16's would be either too small or too tight. But not only do they fit, there is actually room in them! Needless to say, I have a new pair of jeans making me feel even more motivated to keep going!

So, two sizes in three months. I could see another size in the next 2 months to get to my goal of size 14 by July 26th when we leave for Hawaii.

I have now lost 30 pounds in three months. Again, it might not be easy but I can see 20 more pounds in the next two months. Especially since my routine has been sidetracked the last three weeks by a case of bronchitis that had me down and out for about 3 weeks of exercising. I tried a few times but bronchitis is not conducive to heavy breathing. but now I'm back and maybe the rest to my body will get me off of this plateau I seem to have hit.

Anyway, life is good and all is right with the world with both boys at home for a couple of nights before they left for their first summer adventure at The Sasquatch Music Festival in the Gorge. I'm so happy that they have so much fun together.

A Mother's Day Reflection

First of all, let me start off by saying I believe Mother's Day is every day and this second Sunday of May thing is way too commercialized and unnecessary for those of us for whom it would have the most meaning. 

What I find the most disconcerting is the fact that I have relatively few actual memories of my childhood with my own mom compared to the numerous memories I should have.  I can be reminded of memories through stories and pictures but to actually remember things is different.  I was trying to think of the first actual memory I have of her.  I know it would be in the house on 29th Street.  Was it her smelling the flower perfume that I made with my neighbor and telling me how beautiful it was when it actually had no smell at all?  Was it the little caramel flavored candy suckers she made in the oven for a treat?  Was it when we all lived in one room while the hardwood floors in the rest of the house were being sanded and refinished?  I don't know what the earliest memory was but I do know that as I try, I actually do remember many special times. 

I remember when my mom would get paid and she and I would head to Thomas Finer Foods on 12th to buy groceries for the month.  We had our traditions there.  She would always let me pick out 20 candy bars for a dollar that we would hide and use as a treat for the rest of the month.  I usually chose Clark and Mountain bars, 5th Avenue, Big Hunk and Almond Joy.  She would also buy a bag of a snack called "Merry Mix" which I don't think is even made anymore and then when we got home, she would pour the whole bag into a bowl and we would eat it while we unpacked the groceries and just chit chat about anything.  

My mom was amazing.  She worked, cooked, cleaned and made every day special and I didn't realize how difficult that must have been until I had to do it myself.  But having done it myself, I realized that she did it because she wanted to do it.  As a mother, if you do your job with love and the responsibility to do it right then your job really is over way too soon.  My mom sent her oldest daughter way across the country to college not really knowing when she would return home but that when she did, it would just be a visit.  She saw her oldest son go off to the war in Vietnam not knowing if she would see him again at all.  She saw me go away to school in Germany knowing it would be an entire year until she would see me again.  How hard that must have been but she did it because it was the right thing to do so that all of us could become everything we were meant to be, everything she wanted for us to be.  I remember that before the days of technology, cell phones, email etc, I only called home once during my year in Germany and it was on Mother's Day, not Christmas or a birthday, but Mother's Day.  

I think back on my childhood, basically 18 years at home and I am grateful and I feel a little guilty.  My only care was growing up.  I had very little responsibility and I wish I had paid more attention to how hard my mom was working and that I would have helped out more.  But then, I have to remember that is not what she wanted me to do.  My mom is physically gone now but what she gave me, what I have tried to pass on to my own children, love and a passion for life will never be gone.  Thank you mom, Happy Mother's Day.  

Who is your best friend?

I am now on the last day of a "Leadership Conference" in Couer D'Alene, Idaho. It is really a conference with a little bit of business and alot of reward for our outstanding leadership. I don't really know what that means but I do know that the conference has been outstanding.

The Couer D'Alene Resort is fantastic. I have a room with a fireplace, view over the lake, two queen sized beds and a luxurious bathtub and a shower. I don't really know what they paid for this place but I know it must have been quite a bit because everyone is nice, the kind of nice that only money can buy.

Besides just being in this beautiful location and hotel, we have been given the following:
A $25 resort gift card to buy those little souvenir type gifts to take home (or to use in the bar etc)
A $125.00 Visa gift card to use however and whenever we want.
Upon arrival, there were two chocolate dipped strawberries and a bottle of champagne in our rooms waiting for us.
A two hour dinner cruise on the lake, beautiful!
An IPod Shuffle was given out as we left the very last meeting of the week.

But the most important thing that was given to us was a speaker, Dave Mitchell. He has a company called "The Leadership Difference" and is billed as a motivational speaker. He is very much more than that. He is not a psychologist or anything of the sort but he is perceptive beyong his 46 years into one's self. He was on our schedule for 2 hours and when I saw that I thought to myself, "One speaker for two hours, how am I going to get through this?" Those two hours went by so quickly that I sincerely thought he had just been talking for about 1/2 hour.

He is very funny but his message is so important. We have the power within ourselves to recognize what we can and cannot change and to come to terms with ourselves. In essence, we must become our own best friend and treat ourselves, talk to ourselves, resolve issues, with ourselves the way we would with our best friend. He has written a book which I took this afternoon to read and I had him autograph before he left. I even got a copy signed for my son in Alaska.

What struck me most about this guy was that he talked about the power of positive thinking but no in so many words. Basically, he said there are two kinds of people, those who have an optimistic outlook on life, they see what is wrong and think of ways they can make it better, and those who are pessimistic, those who dwell on what is wrong and blame others for it. I have dealt with this most of my life and have always put myself in the first group. What I learned is that anyone can be in that group and as a leader, it is my challenge to get everyone there. As a wife and mother, it is also my challenge to get the most important people in my life there.

Wow! What a challenge! It starts with myself and my quest to become healthier which leads to my liking myself more will be the first step if my journey to helping others become what I know they can be.

I have rambled long enough. Few will read this but those who do, know that you are important to me and you need to be important to yourself first and foremost. Be your own best friend.